One of the first nights after I’d met him, I had been studying for a physics final. He was so nice that, even though he had his own finals to worry about, he brought me my favorite kind of pie, helped tutor me in physics, brought me chicken tendies (my fave) and stayed with me until I finished studying around 3am. He was prince charming. He introduced me to his friends, helped take care of me etc. He wanted to spend every moment with me. There wasn’t a night that we spent apart after about a week of knowing each other. I was living a fairy tale. I often questioned ‘Is this real life?’
Love Bombing: an attempt to influence a person by showing acts of affection and attention
The problem with Love Bombing is that you will always always always hope that the relationship will get back to that point. You’ve come to know this person as the most kind, sweet person ever, and that’s the image to which you cling for the remainder of the relationship no matter how bad things get.
Another issue with Love Bombing is that you obviously try to reciprocate acts of attention and affection- but yours are in real life. So what happens? You end up doing everything for this person and taking care of them. Cleaning their apartment. Doing their laundry. Cooking them food. Doing their dishes. Making their doctor’s appointments. Picking up their prescriptions. You revolve around this person. You aren’t even a person anymore- you’re an extension of them. When they aren’t with you, you begin to panic because the most important thing in your life is missing- keep in mind this is after being isolated from friends and family but it’s relevant to the topic of love-bombing and what it does to a victim.
Let’s get one thing clear: love-bombing is a form of manipulation. It’s used to take control of the victim- it’s just the first step of the process to control your life and your being, but it is an essential step to the process.
Love-bombing and isolation often happen in an overlapping manner- the love-bombing takes place first but eventually, isolation begins to creep into the picture.
*Disclaimer* I am not writing this blog for myself- I don’t need to vent, I don’t need to express emotions and I don’t need to whine about some boy- writing these things triggers me and brings back PTSD symptoms- it doesn’t benefit me at all other than letting me help other survivors relate to someone and bring awareness to those who can’t relate. I am writing this blog solely to help others and raise awareness about mental health.